I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
I'm sorry I murdered your sperm with my alcohol saturated Olympic uterus.
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
Randomize
