I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move.
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
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