PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
I swear she didn't look like that last week.
I drank like a thousand beers last night and my poo is solid, not gross like usual. I think this means I've grown up.
I'm going to rape someone's good day.
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
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