I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
Randomize
