i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
Randomize
