Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
Randomize