The maid of honor just puked.
this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
In case you're wondering what eggs stolen from an elementary school's chicken coop taste like, delicious. Delicious is what they taste like.
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
Randomize
