I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
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