do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
Randomize
