i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
I don't know when it is this year, but if I ever text you an illegible text that also happens to contain sharks, Shark Week started.
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
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