I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
Randomize
