Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
Seriously, I would hit on barney the dinosaur right now if it meant I was going to get laid.
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
His daughter is our waitress. I left her a ten dollar 'I'm sorry I'm a whore and fucked your dad' tip...
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
Everclear isn't food dammit
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