Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
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