before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
i ran into my coworkers when i was walking home last night. i was shirtless. i think i gave my shirt to Walter. he's a cat.
im still drunk. birthday week begins.
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.