I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
Randomize
