does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
Ten minute nap on a staircase honey badger don't care
I love you. Mom got to wasted at the wedding that she threw up on my shirt.
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
I got to her place and she was petting her cat and pounding vodka out of the bottle. She looked like Dr evil in yoga pants. She's nuttier than squirrell shit.
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
Randomize