Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
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