Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
Just got caught pissing on a plant in her room while she was in the shower first word out of my mouth were my bad
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
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