she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
I learned 3 things lastnight....1. Turkeys are related to the t-rex. 2. Whales have leg bones cause they used to walk. 3. I will sing drunk in the waffle house, but not during karaoke in the bar
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
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