angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
Oh right she's pregnant - that's why all of her statuses have been uber depressing
I am going to get arrested. I am yelling fuck repeatedly, wearing a Bird jersey and polka dot pants while pounding wine. Amazing mug shot to follow.
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
Randomize
