have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
Randomize
