Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
Oh man. I threw up in the first cab. Got kicked out. Roamed somewhere for awhile. Fell asleep in the back if the second cab. Woke up in my underwear on the living room floor with a frozen pizza (thawed) laying next to me
Randomize
