My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
I kind of really want to call off the engagement but I kind of need his mom's mashed potatoes on thanksgiving so I'm between a rock & a hard place here
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
I did not marry a roomba.
Randomize
