I'm not unpopping my collar. This shirt is too expensive to crease.
Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
hell yes lets make some ravioli
whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
Just got your voicemail. The 3am call wasn't a drunk dial, it was an I left my phone in my pocket then has wild animalistic sex dial...
I hate you.
You LOVE me.
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
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