I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
I only remembered where urgent care was because it's across the street from my favorite bar
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
Randomize
