do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
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