READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
i need a shirt that says "I fuck trainwrecks"
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
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We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
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is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
He keeps bees of course he's weird
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
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