I don't know what I could have possibly done in a past life to deserve watching my boyfriend projectile vomit margaritas and probs blood while completely naked.
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
Randomize
