its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
I can't tell whether I'm a) still hungover from two nights ago, b) legitimately sick or c) all of the above... multiple choice was never my forte
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
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