i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
We got signed out of jail by an Uber driver. I think that qualifies as a great first night of college
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
Randomize
