Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
I'm in the grocery store cradling a box of wine like it's my firstborn, so of course this would be the first and only time I've ever seen my boss outside of the office.
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
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