Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
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