so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
So I had a crappy evening so the fat girl in me says eat and cry and watch something sad. The cool girl in me says don't eat go run. So I'm watching family guy and doing crunches w a pickle in my mouth
Gross
AN ACTUAL PICKLE
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
Oh you have the munchies, Dad? That's great and congratulations on the weed but STOP EATING MY APPLE PIE
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
Randomize
