Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
let's get her a shirt that says "i went to key west for spring break and all i got was this illegitimate child."
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
I found a video of myself completely naked on my phone giving a drunk tutorial on how to shit properly while blindfolded. Did you record it?
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
Randomize
