Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
Randomize
