And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
Don't worry I'm alive. The apt is all locked up so I'm sleeping on the patio. The frozen pizza I got might be toast unless someone lets me in soon. If not its all good I'll be here snoring on the patio
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
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