We found your brother, passed out, floating in our pool, with a bottle, on a blow up mattress. How did he mange to walk 2 blocks and get into our backyard?
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
We had sex on a dog bed..
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
We were drunk at 3am with no food. I sent him to the lobby with ninety cents for like a bag of chips and I swear on my life he came back with a meatball sub
...did you ask him where he got a meatball sub at 3:00am?
He just kept mumbling something about being a hunter/gatherer
Oh AND he got us two bags of chips.
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
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