Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
Randomize
