Funniest shit happened at the grocery store. This kid kept asking his mom for candy over and over and she told him 'daddy said no' and he screamed 'he isn't my dad' so loud everyone in the store was silent it was awesome.
I'm exhausted and I have velveeta stuck in my teeth
Did you eat out Derrek's girlfriend again?
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize