If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
I Just paid off the bartender to help me convince this chic my roommate's gay. This is the best cockblock ever.
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
I forgot my backup drink is supposed to be pedialyte and vodka. Add in the shit I'm losing as I drink. Win-Win right?
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
I'm about to take plan-b with a glass of wine and ramen noodles. I cannot decide who will hurt more...my vagina, my kidneys or my pride.
Randomize
