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Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
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