He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
Randomize
