ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
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Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
This is not a drunk text right now. This is an i want your dick text. There is a difference.
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
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Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
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