Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
I have just been informed that my company has ray guns. I WORK FOR ACTUAL BOND VILLAINS. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
So, I'm roughly 90% sure that the guy next to me in the xray waiting room is watching porn on his phone right now
Randomize
