That's when you crack a 10am beer
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
You took a bar mat shot.
Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
Randomize
