well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
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This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
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Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
I honestly don't understand how your night went from singing a touching rendition of Africa to an angry political rant to low key trying to find a frat boy to bang to doing dishes to yoga
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
Just got invited to a tree party by some random chicks. They're literally just sitting up in a tree with a handle of rum and a box of goldfish crackers and yelled at me as I was walking by...
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
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