She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
I can't be the first person ever who had to explain why her bottle of orange juice had a picture of a screwdriver drawn on it
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
It just wouldn't be valentines day if i didn't invite 90% of the guys i've slept with to go to the strip club with me
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
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