Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
Nearly got hit by a blue bell ice cream truck. Can I count on you to make plenty of puns like "her life was sweet, and so was her death" at my funeral if that was to happen?
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
Randomize
