arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
Your shoe was in the washing machine. I have it in my pocket. My phone rang before and I answered your shoe. Meet me at the bar in 10.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
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