is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
I just saw a girl walking home wearing a tshirt, boxers, and cowboy boots. Thanks for having the decency to drive me to my car.
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
I gave his parents a candle as a thanks for letting me hang out there all the time. Which i guess is more accurately a thanks-for-letting-me-fuck-your-son candle
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
Randomize
