soo according to the calendar on my phone, I'm 5 minutes late to have sex with that guy from work. Apparently we planned this, I even set an alarm.
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
Randomize
