i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
Randomize
