Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(770): View more from Georgia

We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."

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(904): View more from Florida

How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.

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(646): View more from New York

Dude. There are selfies on my phone of me, wide-eyed, sucking my pillow. We did NOT split that bag 50/50.

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(414): View more from Wisconsin

So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list

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(843): View more from South Carolina

Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?

(1-843): View more from South Carolina

Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor

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