Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
the only reason he called me tonight was because I fertilized his crops on farmville.
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
Randomize
