his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
today i learned why jack sparrow loved rum so fucking much
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
When I wake up, please remind me why my shoe is in the toilet, my shower is filled with jello, and there is a naked girl sleeping on my coffee table holding a bag of Cheetos. that is all.
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
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