what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
It’s a good thing I’m the only one in the office today. My boy toy stopped by and now there is jiz all over my desk and couch
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