also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
i just remebered what i did last night, i asked a homeless man on a bike "hey whatcha doin with that bike, wanna make 5 bucks?" he agreed and then rode me on his handle bars a block away to the next bar.
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
To my ex and my favorite mistake: I totally enjoyed hearing you have erectile disfunction via baby monitor!
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
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