dude, i just saw a bobcat while i was rollerblading this morning
1 dont ever text someone @ 8am on sat. 2 dont ever admit to rollerblading past 1992.
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
I am naked and annoyed.
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
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